Friday, September 25, 2009

The All You Can Eat Weekend Guide to Gluttony


By
It will be a weekend of pure unabashed gluttony when Blue Jays fans stuff their faces during the All You Can Eat Weekend. I myself will be attending this Sunday, and I look forward to gorging on processed meats, cheeses, and other foods of which their origin is unknown.

In order to enjoy this experience to the fullest, you will need to mentally and physically prepare yourself for this war. Just like Rocky Balboa had Mickey in his corner, consider this your training regiment and encouragement for the Blue Jays All You Can Eat Weekend.

Preparations – Leading Up To

In order to prepare for such an event, there is actually a lot of training that is required to get the most for your money. Leading up to the event, the experts say to only consume one large meal per day and to wash it down with at least a gallon of water. One mistake you definitely do not want to make is to fast before the game. This will actually tighten up your stomach and limit how much you can scarf down. There’s no point in starving yourself – leave that for the runway models.

Preparations – Day Of

The day of the game, do whatever you need to do to mentally prepare yourself for the All You Can Eat game. Go for a jog, play some Xbox 360, or meditate by listening to Lionel Ritchie records – whatever makes you comfortable. Clear your mind and your stomach will be empty. And remember the wise words the great Jedi Master, Yoda. Do or do not, there is no try.

Once you get to the ballpark, have a plan of attack. Remember that your food options are fairly limited; hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, peanuts and pop. I wouldn’t even bother with the smaller items such as popcorn and peanuts because they take up too much room in your stomach, and you can get those for pennies at the grocery store anyway.

Just like Roy Halladay, you want to work fast. The quicker you eat, the more you will be able to put in your stomach, so keep eating and try not to rest for too long. Wash everything down with some sugar-laden soda or spare yourself the calories and drink plenty of water.

Keep in mind that you definitely want to get your money’s worth from this event. The tickets for the seats alone are 25 dollars, which means you need to eat at least 14 dollars worth of food to make it worth your while. That really shouldn’t be that difficult because two hot dogs and a pop are around 15 dollars anyway.

The Aftermath

Remember that after all of this, there is actually still a ballgame to watch so try not to eat so much that you turn into a grizzly and go into hibernation for nine innings. However, after stuffing yourself with hot dogs, nachos and pop all afternoon, a well-deserved siesta will be in order once you get home. The primary goal of the All You Can Eat Weekend is to have fun, so enjoy yourself and take in one of the last home games of the season at the Rogers Centre while you still can.

In the end, your stomach will thank you.

10 comments:

  1. I've never been to an all you can eat weekend before but they seem fun. I wouldn't bother with the popcorn either. Too filling and you can always get them at the theatre (but with more butter!). I wonder if they will cut it off at seven like the alcohol. Hope you get at least a hot dog in per inning. I fully expect you to pull off your best Kobayashi impression.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, I live for such events but cannot be at the dome. Maybe I'll take the kids out for Chinese buffet just to show some solidarity.

    One question though - "spare yourself the calories" ????!!!! Can this even be a consideration? A clear mind will accomplish much -- do not allow distractions to cloud your vision.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HLF, I won't even touch the popcorn at the Rogers Centre. Without the butter topping, it's not even worth the money. I think they actually do cut off the serving around the 7th or 8th inning, just like the beer. Otherwise at the end of the game, I'd just grab 10 hot dogs and take them home with me! I will attempt to break Joey Chestnut's record, but I predict that at most I'll be able to scarf down 3 or 4 hot dogs. I'll be twittering the results on Sunday, so stay tuned!

    QJays, I'll let you know how it goes. This will be my first time at an all you can eat event myself. I'll try to consume as many calories as humanly possible. Hopefully enough so I won't have to eat for the next two days!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The sugar in the soda will help to store the calories through an immediate insulin response and will also serve to make you hungry. It is advised to drink pop as water has been proven to make you feel full and soda has the opposite effect. I hope this helps...

    ReplyDelete
  5. The sugar in the soda will help to store the calories through an immediate insulin response and will also serve to make you hungry. It is advised to drink pop as water has been proven to make you feel full and soda has the opposite effect. I hope this helps...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks Mattt, I will keep that in mind! Soda = good, water = bad. I hope that I don't go into a diabetic coma afterwards!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Today is the big day. I hope you've prepared well. Please give us an update on the damage you caused the concession stands.

    ReplyDelete
  8. wonderful blog here. I love the title. I saw you on twitter - and I just followed the link here. The Blue Jays really had a great year - and their offense has shown up wonderfully. They just need to keep building on top of Lind, Scutaro, and Hill and then they will be at the top. By the way do you like college football by any chance. Please stop by my PSU blog. Thanks and good job. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Question - how do you get your title as cool as yours. Do you go to a photo editing site? If so plz tell me where. Thanks appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Matt, you'll be happy to know that I ate seven hot dogs, and drank 3 pops. I'm proud and ashamed of myself all at the same time.

    Whiteout, thanks for the comments! The Blue Jays have a great young core of players that will set this team up very well in the future. The hard part is convincing management to spend money on free agents.

    I used photoshop (with some help) to create the title bar. If you need any tips, just email me - bluejayhunter@gmail.com and I will try my best to help you out. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...